Earlier this month, I attended a conference where we worked in groups. During one session, a participant made a series of racist and transphobic comments. I sat silently as others attempted to challenge her, convincing myself it wasn’t worth my effort at 9 a.m.

Then my Apple Watch buzzed: "High Heart Rate."

I was shocked…sitting there, thinking I was protecting my peace by staying quiet, while my body responded with alarm. That’s when I remembered Dr. Ken Hardy’s words: “Sometimes your ears need to hear your mouth say it.”

So, I spoke up. Not because I thought I’d change her mind, but because my silence was harming me. I named what mattered, addressed the harm, and my heart rate returned to normal. That moment wasn’t about changing her mind, my self-image as an advocate for social justice, or even about getting a different outcome—it was about validating my experience for myself.

This is the power of our voice, not just for others, but for ourselves. Silence doesn’t protect us. It internalizes harm, leaving it to race through our bodies, weigh on our hearts, and turn in our stomachs. And we tell ourselves it was the "better" choice because we didn’t add to the discomfort in the room, or that speaking up wouldn’t change anything.

I’m here to tell you: It’s okay to add to the discomfort.

Because when racialized harm is happening, those without power are already uncomfortable—silently holding their pain to preserve the comfort of those causing harm. Name the issue out loud, because that discomfort belongs to the room, not just inside you.

If people feel comfortable saying or doing things that are unjust, the space should feel uncomfortable with that decision.

So say it! So your ears can hear your mouth say it: